Post by dimitri lupin on May 20, 2009 21:31:36 GMT -5
{I CANT BELIEVE THE NEWS TODAY}
{AND THE BATTLES JUST BEGUN}
FULL NAME:
arthur dimitri lupin
AGE:
fifteen
YEAR or OCCUPATION:
fifth year
BIRTHDAY:
march fifteenth
SCHOOL/FORMER SCHOOL:
hogwarts
HOUSE/FORMER HOUSE:
slytherin
FAMILY:
destry lupin; 40; father
catherine lupin; 36; mother
______ lupin, 4th year; sister
______ lupin, 1st year; brother
ANYTHING ELSE:
Dimitri didn't know as a child that there had been more than just a few cases of lycanthropy in his family's past. There had been quite a few and when he was bitten as a very small child it was just another name on that part of the Lupin family tree. His lycantrhopy is a dear secret to him but since he was so young when he was bitten it shaped his entire character and personality from what it could have been. And thus far he feels a prisoner in himself.
{WE EAT AND DRINK WHILE TOMORROW THEY DIE}
Nicki was certainly her own creation, she wasn't even in the realm of being 'down to earth' as they said. Her mind was off in some fantasy, a silly and childish one where she was a princess and her prince was waiting for her, willing to do anything for her. Though he did give her the smallest amount of credit for her oddity of a situation with her lycanthropy. She transformed half as many times as the normal one, why did he get the short end of the stick with transforming more than what was necessary or healthy for that matter. Whatever, he didn't care about Nicki anymore, she would land herself in trouble one day and regret all the words she had ever spoken or uttered. Stupid girl, she lived ot leave her siblings and people she knew livid and annoyed. Speaking of siblings, Xandra seemed to have been caught in a daydream, what was she thinking about, not catching what he had just said. "Faye?" Surely that was an obvious notion, Finnigan was the ultimate bitch and she knew that, Dimitri had been so bold in telling her that himself. Though what their physical relationship had amounted to before was an oddity in itself. Full of insults and nights together, yet not a drop of remorse or guilty for anything said and done. But another story to share and another private and small chapter in his life, he honestly didn't care about her and she didn't deserve that kind of pleasure from anybody, to be cared about.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked curiously, just to see if she would even answer him honestly or even at all. It was easy to catch a Lupin daydreaming or lost in thought, it was what they did. When grouping the Lupins together, he minimally meant the similarities between Remus, Dimitri and even Xandra at times. Though Dimitri really was his father in so many ways, even literally as a werewolf, he hated that fact about himself. At one point he might have not minded, but then there came a certain point in time where everything changed and the world all of a sudden held an array of darker colors and shady tones. Nothing bright anymore, just black and gray, and whatever was in between. There was some silence and he found himself thinking again, something that had proved dangerous yet he ignored all warnings now. His life was empty and he felt that in most aspects. Few friends remained of what was the past and though there were new friendships blossoming, it was difficult to keep up or not alienate those that tried to get even metaphorically close to him. He felt alone in this world, even with Tori, Xandra or Jasper around. His heart was cold and felt dismembered, that empty feeling in his chest that would never go away. Though it was the least of his problems now, it never would be resolved, would it?
He shrugged, another unresolved thing in his life. The chronic insomnia was really just annoying more than anything. All that time he could have spent resting and recuperating, he was thinking and his imagination was more pessimistic than Dimitri's personality. He shrugged lightly and pushed his mug away, didn't need to intoxicate himself too fast, otherwise he would never get anything off his chest and things would only be going downhill as his issues carried a significant amount of gravitational pull to them. Seph was gone, the other half of his heart with her and always with her. Another piece with Damien and another with Domino. It didn't leave him with much and though it troubled and plagued his mind it wasn't what kept him up at night. Hardly, it was easy to push her out and the kids, as fast as it eventually reentered his train of thought. Dimitri was problematic in a lot of ways, hardly an environment of children to be around. That had been part of his problem in the first place, what his father had dragged him into unwillingly and unknowingly on Dimitri's part. It was disappointing that Remus had done that and possibly known, though Dimitri hardly would accept the explanation that Remus had not known, it just wasn't in him.
His chest hurt as the slight pressure felt heavier after a bit. His breathing was still slow and somewhat under control as he tried to stay calm with all the will power he could muster. This self control was a recent product, not something he would have developed as a child as he remembered the feeling of not being able to breath vividly, among other things he remembered of his broken past. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he needed to just talk, tell everything and not spare any detail that would only hurt him. But how could anybody understand? He was sure that only few received and encountered what he went through, he didn't want people's fake sympathy and attempt at empathy. It would only anger him as people claimed they were sorry, what could have they done about it? Sprung him out of jail? Unlikely, but somehow bottling up everything was hardly the solution either. After he had spoken of his duration in the cell, he paused again and looked down at the counter. His jaw was clenched, teeth mashed together tightly and body tense so he wouldn't slip. He felt the warmness of her hands on his face, against his cold skin and it was surprisingly comforting. Just the immediate presence of somebody he knew cared helped and didn't at the same time.
Control was slowly coming back, though still far away. It didn't help because he hated appearing weak and out of control, even if he was out of control of his life in so many ways. Her hands left to find his and he opened his eyes again, they were shimmering in internal pain. It was hard to escape the experience, it would always be and that was something nobody could understand, unless they were there which he would never wish upon another person. Dimitri pondered a moment, what to tell her? Maybe it was a situation where less was better, he didn't want Xandra or his mother to suffer on what was happening to Remus. Dimitri was only desensitized by the troublesome relationship between father and son, otherwise it hurt to think about going through that, even in his mind. He didn't know the Ministry's intent, but his own interpretation was that they were trying to break him somehow. But why? Not that it mattered, but it didn't make sense. It never had made sense, why had they placed Dimitri there? He was conscious of his own personal guilt, but they had tested his limits, even extending the physical limitations he had before for transforming as it was more sporadic than ever. But emotionally he suffered more with the Dementors around. Even with open eyes he couldn't escape the slow and subtle fog of a memory creeping in his mind, the Dementor so close and he felt cold, the room had gone cold and it was so real.
Letting go of Xandra's hands he slowly stood up and moved to where the kitchen sink was, looking out of the window to where the giant tree stood and the forest behind it. The sky was gray and gloomy, much like Dimitri's mood but not accurately reflecting it. His insides felt more like a thunderstorm more than anything and his thought process like a hurricane. He swallowed hard, trying to make his voice normal, placing his hands on the counter as he stared into the sink, even if that wasn't what he was seeing. "I don't know." He couldn't come up with anything to even make up an excuse. "Unless they're trying to break him." It was certainly an experience he would never forget, that was for sure. Dimitri hadn't forgotten himself. "It's...." He trailed off again, feeling like he was holding his breath, the edge was right there. "It's not a place you can easily forget..." he closed his eyes again, knowing very well what he would see. Flashes of his memory as he tried not to lapse into a mode of panic. His body ached, the alcohol all of a sudden sat uncomfortable in his stomach though he knew that more would only numb him for so long. The tolerance prevented any kind of relief.
Xandra deserved some kind of explanation though, he hardly knew what was going on anymore he could imagine her perspective. The reluctance to tell their mother was for an obvious reason, but Xandra would know someday as Dimitri would tell her, but as to when was the question. "Mum doesn't need to know." He finally said, voice full of distress, despair, what he was certainly feeling. "It'll kill her if she knew what he was going through." It had nearly killed him and he had been there and it had definitely taken some of his humanity away, even still thinking about it. Glancing down at his wrist he saw a scar that ran the circumference almost, obtained in prison, and proof and a reminder of that cell block. Now more than ever it was hard to have his mind escape the memories again, usually this wasn't such a problem when he was awake and aware, more of when he slept the subconscious took over and he was powerless. Xandra had noted the fatigue in his eyes and the dull look was distant and empty, obviously not in the present. "I remember...." He said as he closed his eyes, hands trembling and he responded by gripping the counter hard he thought he would break it. The room felt smaller, he felt trapped and he exhaled slowly, trying not to let his breathing get out of hand. Dimitri knew the room might be spinning if he opened his eyes, he felt lightheaded fear spread though his body.
What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't anybody help him? He could only imagine his mother's reaction if she ever found out what Dimitri went through and if she found out what Remus was going through. His breathing was at least stable, but he wouldn't open his eyes. The words were right in his throat and it felt tight, it was just difficult to tell Xandra what he was going through, even if she couldn't properly empathize or sympathize. It was just a load he needed to get off his chest, the ghosts that haunted him. "I can't sleep at night..." Though that was fairly obvious, the reason was far because Remus was suffering, Dimitri was suffering and people had only seen the small surface of his fatigue and nothing else, the constant battle under the accidental facade.
hi, my name is vanessa and i joined because lills made me.
{AND THE BATTLES JUST BEGUN}
FULL NAME:
arthur dimitri lupin
AGE:
fifteen
YEAR or OCCUPATION:
fifth year
BIRTHDAY:
march fifteenth
SCHOOL/FORMER SCHOOL:
hogwarts
HOUSE/FORMER HOUSE:
slytherin
FAMILY:
destry lupin; 40; father
catherine lupin; 36; mother
______ lupin, 4th year; sister
______ lupin, 1st year; brother
ANYTHING ELSE:
Dimitri didn't know as a child that there had been more than just a few cases of lycanthropy in his family's past. There had been quite a few and when he was bitten as a very small child it was just another name on that part of the Lupin family tree. His lycantrhopy is a dear secret to him but since he was so young when he was bitten it shaped his entire character and personality from what it could have been. And thus far he feels a prisoner in himself.
{WE EAT AND DRINK WHILE TOMORROW THEY DIE}
Nicki was certainly her own creation, she wasn't even in the realm of being 'down to earth' as they said. Her mind was off in some fantasy, a silly and childish one where she was a princess and her prince was waiting for her, willing to do anything for her. Though he did give her the smallest amount of credit for her oddity of a situation with her lycanthropy. She transformed half as many times as the normal one, why did he get the short end of the stick with transforming more than what was necessary or healthy for that matter. Whatever, he didn't care about Nicki anymore, she would land herself in trouble one day and regret all the words she had ever spoken or uttered. Stupid girl, she lived ot leave her siblings and people she knew livid and annoyed. Speaking of siblings, Xandra seemed to have been caught in a daydream, what was she thinking about, not catching what he had just said. "Faye?" Surely that was an obvious notion, Finnigan was the ultimate bitch and she knew that, Dimitri had been so bold in telling her that himself. Though what their physical relationship had amounted to before was an oddity in itself. Full of insults and nights together, yet not a drop of remorse or guilty for anything said and done. But another story to share and another private and small chapter in his life, he honestly didn't care about her and she didn't deserve that kind of pleasure from anybody, to be cared about.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked curiously, just to see if she would even answer him honestly or even at all. It was easy to catch a Lupin daydreaming or lost in thought, it was what they did. When grouping the Lupins together, he minimally meant the similarities between Remus, Dimitri and even Xandra at times. Though Dimitri really was his father in so many ways, even literally as a werewolf, he hated that fact about himself. At one point he might have not minded, but then there came a certain point in time where everything changed and the world all of a sudden held an array of darker colors and shady tones. Nothing bright anymore, just black and gray, and whatever was in between. There was some silence and he found himself thinking again, something that had proved dangerous yet he ignored all warnings now. His life was empty and he felt that in most aspects. Few friends remained of what was the past and though there were new friendships blossoming, it was difficult to keep up or not alienate those that tried to get even metaphorically close to him. He felt alone in this world, even with Tori, Xandra or Jasper around. His heart was cold and felt dismembered, that empty feeling in his chest that would never go away. Though it was the least of his problems now, it never would be resolved, would it?
He shrugged, another unresolved thing in his life. The chronic insomnia was really just annoying more than anything. All that time he could have spent resting and recuperating, he was thinking and his imagination was more pessimistic than Dimitri's personality. He shrugged lightly and pushed his mug away, didn't need to intoxicate himself too fast, otherwise he would never get anything off his chest and things would only be going downhill as his issues carried a significant amount of gravitational pull to them. Seph was gone, the other half of his heart with her and always with her. Another piece with Damien and another with Domino. It didn't leave him with much and though it troubled and plagued his mind it wasn't what kept him up at night. Hardly, it was easy to push her out and the kids, as fast as it eventually reentered his train of thought. Dimitri was problematic in a lot of ways, hardly an environment of children to be around. That had been part of his problem in the first place, what his father had dragged him into unwillingly and unknowingly on Dimitri's part. It was disappointing that Remus had done that and possibly known, though Dimitri hardly would accept the explanation that Remus had not known, it just wasn't in him.
His chest hurt as the slight pressure felt heavier after a bit. His breathing was still slow and somewhat under control as he tried to stay calm with all the will power he could muster. This self control was a recent product, not something he would have developed as a child as he remembered the feeling of not being able to breath vividly, among other things he remembered of his broken past. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he needed to just talk, tell everything and not spare any detail that would only hurt him. But how could anybody understand? He was sure that only few received and encountered what he went through, he didn't want people's fake sympathy and attempt at empathy. It would only anger him as people claimed they were sorry, what could have they done about it? Sprung him out of jail? Unlikely, but somehow bottling up everything was hardly the solution either. After he had spoken of his duration in the cell, he paused again and looked down at the counter. His jaw was clenched, teeth mashed together tightly and body tense so he wouldn't slip. He felt the warmness of her hands on his face, against his cold skin and it was surprisingly comforting. Just the immediate presence of somebody he knew cared helped and didn't at the same time.
Control was slowly coming back, though still far away. It didn't help because he hated appearing weak and out of control, even if he was out of control of his life in so many ways. Her hands left to find his and he opened his eyes again, they were shimmering in internal pain. It was hard to escape the experience, it would always be and that was something nobody could understand, unless they were there which he would never wish upon another person. Dimitri pondered a moment, what to tell her? Maybe it was a situation where less was better, he didn't want Xandra or his mother to suffer on what was happening to Remus. Dimitri was only desensitized by the troublesome relationship between father and son, otherwise it hurt to think about going through that, even in his mind. He didn't know the Ministry's intent, but his own interpretation was that they were trying to break him somehow. But why? Not that it mattered, but it didn't make sense. It never had made sense, why had they placed Dimitri there? He was conscious of his own personal guilt, but they had tested his limits, even extending the physical limitations he had before for transforming as it was more sporadic than ever. But emotionally he suffered more with the Dementors around. Even with open eyes he couldn't escape the slow and subtle fog of a memory creeping in his mind, the Dementor so close and he felt cold, the room had gone cold and it was so real.
Letting go of Xandra's hands he slowly stood up and moved to where the kitchen sink was, looking out of the window to where the giant tree stood and the forest behind it. The sky was gray and gloomy, much like Dimitri's mood but not accurately reflecting it. His insides felt more like a thunderstorm more than anything and his thought process like a hurricane. He swallowed hard, trying to make his voice normal, placing his hands on the counter as he stared into the sink, even if that wasn't what he was seeing. "I don't know." He couldn't come up with anything to even make up an excuse. "Unless they're trying to break him." It was certainly an experience he would never forget, that was for sure. Dimitri hadn't forgotten himself. "It's...." He trailed off again, feeling like he was holding his breath, the edge was right there. "It's not a place you can easily forget..." he closed his eyes again, knowing very well what he would see. Flashes of his memory as he tried not to lapse into a mode of panic. His body ached, the alcohol all of a sudden sat uncomfortable in his stomach though he knew that more would only numb him for so long. The tolerance prevented any kind of relief.
Xandra deserved some kind of explanation though, he hardly knew what was going on anymore he could imagine her perspective. The reluctance to tell their mother was for an obvious reason, but Xandra would know someday as Dimitri would tell her, but as to when was the question. "Mum doesn't need to know." He finally said, voice full of distress, despair, what he was certainly feeling. "It'll kill her if she knew what he was going through." It had nearly killed him and he had been there and it had definitely taken some of his humanity away, even still thinking about it. Glancing down at his wrist he saw a scar that ran the circumference almost, obtained in prison, and proof and a reminder of that cell block. Now more than ever it was hard to have his mind escape the memories again, usually this wasn't such a problem when he was awake and aware, more of when he slept the subconscious took over and he was powerless. Xandra had noted the fatigue in his eyes and the dull look was distant and empty, obviously not in the present. "I remember...." He said as he closed his eyes, hands trembling and he responded by gripping the counter hard he thought he would break it. The room felt smaller, he felt trapped and he exhaled slowly, trying not to let his breathing get out of hand. Dimitri knew the room might be spinning if he opened his eyes, he felt lightheaded fear spread though his body.
What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't anybody help him? He could only imagine his mother's reaction if she ever found out what Dimitri went through and if she found out what Remus was going through. His breathing was at least stable, but he wouldn't open his eyes. The words were right in his throat and it felt tight, it was just difficult to tell Xandra what he was going through, even if she couldn't properly empathize or sympathize. It was just a load he needed to get off his chest, the ghosts that haunted him. "I can't sleep at night..." Though that was fairly obvious, the reason was far because Remus was suffering, Dimitri was suffering and people had only seen the small surface of his fatigue and nothing else, the constant battle under the accidental facade.
